The wireless is down
I don’t know why… but the wireless is down in the Café. So the Blog that I wrote last night and this one will have to wait to be posted until tomorrow. Haha… these days mean nothing to you silly people.
Well anyway. I am writing about ambition today.
I had kind of a scare the other day. I overheard people talking about their roles in A/V this year and it made it sound kind of like I was a peon again. That sent shivers down my spine. Sad huh. I can’t believe that it affected me like that. I was even thinking of leaving Omega… thinking of my options and seeing how much money I had in the bank. All because of this factices title that I hadn’t even been given yet that I thought was being taken away from me. I am a silly person.
Normally if you ask me I would tell you that I have really no Ambition to be the Boss. That really I am cool with giving orders or receiving them. Well I guess that I proved myself wrong.
I really liked the idea of being the boss. Why is that? What can I do different when I am the boss as opposed to when I am a peon?
It’s not like it’s a drastically different job or that everything changes. The job stays the same, it’s just that I am now in charge of other people, and am responsible for them to do their jobs. It’s just more work and more stress.
Maybe I feel important when I am the boss. Maybe I feel like people can count on me.
I don’t know.
All I do know is I freaked out and made my boss sit down and draw out the structure of our department so I could see where everyone stood and what every ones rolls were. Only then did I stop freaking out, when I found out that my fears weren’t true and that I actually am the boss.
Funny what a word can do.
Would I still be here if I found out that my fears were accurate? Or would I be on the first flight to Bali?
Neway…
All is well… I am staying @ Omega and will be here the whole season.
Next year? That remains to be seen. I kind of want to see how I fare in the big bad world out there. I usually am sure of my course of events for Omega. Last year at this time I knew that I was coming back without a doubt. This year? We’ll see.
Here is to Neurosis
dlb
Well anyway. I am writing about ambition today.
I had kind of a scare the other day. I overheard people talking about their roles in A/V this year and it made it sound kind of like I was a peon again. That sent shivers down my spine. Sad huh. I can’t believe that it affected me like that. I was even thinking of leaving Omega… thinking of my options and seeing how much money I had in the bank. All because of this factices title that I hadn’t even been given yet that I thought was being taken away from me. I am a silly person.
Normally if you ask me I would tell you that I have really no Ambition to be the Boss. That really I am cool with giving orders or receiving them. Well I guess that I proved myself wrong.
I really liked the idea of being the boss. Why is that? What can I do different when I am the boss as opposed to when I am a peon?
It’s not like it’s a drastically different job or that everything changes. The job stays the same, it’s just that I am now in charge of other people, and am responsible for them to do their jobs. It’s just more work and more stress.
Maybe I feel important when I am the boss. Maybe I feel like people can count on me.
I don’t know.
All I do know is I freaked out and made my boss sit down and draw out the structure of our department so I could see where everyone stood and what every ones rolls were. Only then did I stop freaking out, when I found out that my fears weren’t true and that I actually am the boss.
Funny what a word can do.
Would I still be here if I found out that my fears were accurate? Or would I be on the first flight to Bali?
Neway…
All is well… I am staying @ Omega and will be here the whole season.
Next year? That remains to be seen. I kind of want to see how I fare in the big bad world out there. I usually am sure of my course of events for Omega. Last year at this time I knew that I was coming back without a doubt. This year? We’ll see.
Here is to Neurosis
dlb
posted by mr dlb at Monday, March 28, 2005
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